Karl Renz: You will never, by free will, hit the tree of existence. You always need a driving license to miss it. It is like that. That’s the functioning of the separate object and the survival system which is simply running as, “I want to survive.” So you want to become immortal and by wanting to become immortal, you avoid death. You meditate on immortality, what you want to become. So you will never make the final killing that is needed – the Kali head-chopping business.
That’s why it’s said that by grace you will be chopped, whether you like it or not. But it’s not by you wanting it. You can lift your head – “Oh, look, take me!” It doesn’t work. It doesn’t know you. When you seek grace, you will never find grace.
But when grace seeks you, you’d better watch out. That watching out is like trying to escape. Because you already feel there is something. You are already in the tiger’s mouth, and in one split second it will simply click shut, but you never know when. So you are always worrying. “Maybe, Oh, what can I do to avoid it?” And you are always doubting. “Oh! Am I in that mouth or am I not? I must be in! No, I am not in. Am I ripe enough? Am I mature enough? What can I do to get more ripe or less ripe? Do I really want it? Maybe I don’t want to be a couch potato watching television all the rest of my life. No, I don’t want this boredom of the absence of ‘me’. No, the ‘me’ doesn’t like that!”