It’s unbearable not to be Shiva

Karl Renz: Awakened ones and non-awakened ones, where do they exist? Only in a dream of phantoms, in this shadow world of dream. There are awakened shadows and non-awakened shadows. And awakened ones need non-awakened ones, because otherwise they would not be special. So it’s like an agreement. You play the non-awakened one and I play the awakened one, and then we have a party, because without parts… I play my part, you play your part, so just for fun.

Just for fun I am unenlightened today. So you pretend not to know yourself, not to know what you are just for fun. But after a while the fun becomes serious, then you are in trouble. It’s like Shiva plays with the puppets just for fun, with this so called creation. He plays with this creation, but after a while he forgets that he was not even the creator. Then he forgets himself, to be That what is never part of creation or creator or anything.

So in that self-forgetness he becomes a puppet of himself, and then he wants to become Shiva again, the Self. But then whatever he is doing is futile. He cannot become what he is. But then he has ideas about being bigger and cosmic consciousness, and this consciousness, and being – if I just accept everything as it is, maybe then I am Shiva, maybe, maybe, maybe.

So, all whatever he is doing is futile. But he tries. Because it’s unbearable not to be Shiva. So by his love for himself he tries to become Shiva again. But he never lost his nature in the first place. He just did it for fun, but fun became fucking serious.

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