Karl Renz: When sadhana starts is the end of honeymoon. Then it shows if it’s really real, that you are longing for yourself or if it’s just playing. I think 99% are just playing with it, is not so extreme. It’s very rare that that longing for yourself is so intense that you burn out everything. That you just go for it, never minding anything, without any hesitating and without any whatever – not caring about your body, not caring about your family, not caring about the world, only that counts is very rare. Very very rare. But if it’s meant to happen, it’s there. But you cannot fake it. Or you can fake it for a while but not for long.
So that’s why I say – it has to be 24/7, it cannot be just for – “Oh, it’s nice to seek myself. I am a seeker for truth. And then we meet together and have a good time, having sangha or something, making party and having a guru together, and a bit singing or something, and feeling good together.” Sounds all good. But that’s not 24/7 longing and burning. So it’s easy to find gurus but it’s much harder to find good disciples or really Shiva lovers, who love Shiva more then even themself. That’s why in Tiru there are only 63 these sidhas. So 63 out of all the time. They are hanging around the mountain who made it – dissolving into themself, into Shiva. So their love for Shiva was stronger then for themself. Then they have become sidhas.
So, and if one is honest with oneself, one has to ask oneself: “Am I really, is my longing so much, so burning that nothing else counts. Or if I am just looking for little comfort or some bit more whatever entertainment or something.”
If you go to Arunachala, around there are maybe 5000 sadhus and the sadhus you see are not sadhus. The real one, they are sitting inside the mountain and you never see them. Otherwise is just wearing orange.